Thinking of making a change to your little one's sleep but not 100% convinced you should? Made changes before to no avail? Start here my friend....
If you’ve ever tried to make a change to your little one’s sleep and it didn’t work, you’re not alone. In fact, so many of the parents I work with have tried all the things before reaching out. The good news? Just because something didn’t work once doesn’t mean it never will.
So if you’re thinking about making gentle shifts to support better sleep—whether that’s fewer night wakes, smoother bedtimes, introducing a secondary settler or more restful naps—here are my top 5 tips to guide you through the process.
1. Just Because It Didn’t Work Once…
You might have tried an approach before and had to ditch the idea completely - maybe it didn't feel right at the time, maybe you didn't have the capacity for it or maybe your baby had different ideas about it. Maybe it was a new bedtime routine, an earlier nap or a different response at night. Let's remember that babies (and parents!) change all the time. What didn’t feel right or didn’t work last month might be a completely different experience now.
Give yourself permission to revisit ideas. It’s not going backwards—it's coming back with more information, more connection and a stronger foundation.
2. Accept That It May Take Time
Sleep isn’t something that’s “fixed” overnight, and changes—especially gentle, responsive ones—often take time. Progress can be subtle and non-linear. One good night doesn’t mean everything is “solved,” and one rough night doesn’t mean nothing is working.
There's never going to be one set amount of time that it will take to make changes because this depends on so many variables such as age, personality/temperament, experience, developmental phases, parental consistency and capacity, the change being made, day-to-day factors such as naps, activity levels and connection and so on.
Patience is hard, especially when you’re exhausted. But slow, steady steps build trust, emotional safety and lasting change.
3. Nothing Is Forever
Nothing is set in stone.
When we give ourselves permission to back-track when things don't go well, we're more likely to just give things a go. Changes do not have to be all or nothing. Want to work on cot settling but also enjoy the occasional contact nap? Totally fine! Think your baby is ready to drop a nap? Try it - you can always reinstate it if it goes pear shaped! Everything is workable and you have the freedom to make those choices, knowing that nothing is forever.
4. Mind Your Language (It Matters!)
How we talk about sleep (and other things)—out loud and in our heads—makes a huge difference. Instead of saying “They’re a bad sleeper,” try “They’re still learning how to sleep independently.” How about reframing "He never falls asleep without feeding" as "he's still learning to accept other methods of falling asleep." Using more positive language makes things seem more possible and may give you that little nudge towards taking those first steps.
Language shapes mindset. Being kind and compassionate to yourself as a parent, and to your baby as they learn, creates a more supportive space for change.
5. Lead With Co-Regulation
Sleep is deeply connected to our nervous systems. Babies, toddlers and children need help to calm down and feel safe to settle into sleep. That’s where co-regulation comes in because their brain's are not mature enough to self-regulate yet - your calm presence helps them calm down too.
Whether it’s cuddles, holding their hand or simply holding space during tears, your connection is the most powerful sleep tool you have. Co-regulation isn’t a “hack”—it’s the foundation of responsive parenting.
Final Thoughts
Sleep doesn’t have to be perfect to be good enough. And you don’t have to do it alone.
If you’re navigating sleep struggles and want support that aligns with your values, I’m here to help. My approach is always responsive, gentle and centred around you and your little one. Book in for your free call so we can discuss how to make those first steps work for you.